urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou leonlovesyou hugable_twinky@hotmail.com leonlovesyou 2008-02-12T18:32:03Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:3242 2008-02-12T18:32:03Z 2008-02-12T18:32:03Z Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind.<br /><br />If only life could be like a movie, then i would know where i stand. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:3016 2007-12-06T08:08:12Z 2007-12-06T08:08:12Z NIN: Best concert I've ever seen in my life.<br /><br />Girlfriend: Great. But something is missing; something i can't exactly put my fingers upon.<br /> "Your skin<br /> Oh yeah, your skin and bones,<br /> Turn into something beautiful,<br /> You know, you know I love you so,<br /> You know I love you so.<br /> I swam across,<br /> I jumped across for you,<br /> Oh what a thing to do.<br /> Cos you were all yellow"<br /> -Coldplay<br /><br />Ex: I still think about her. She haunts my mind.<br /><br /> "I still recall the taste of my tears.<br /> Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.<br /> My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.<br /> Scraping through my head till I dont want to sleep anymore.<br /><br /> Come on tell me.<br /> Make this all go away.<br /> You make this all go away.<br /> Im down to just one thing.<br /> And Im starting to scare myself.<br /> Make this all go away.<br /> You make this all go way.<br /><br /> I just want something.<br /> I just want something I can never have"<br /><br /> -NIN<br /><br />Friends: Dwindling. I can't seem to keep my friends. Loneliness is my best friend, right next to Teddy, he's my second best friend.<br /><br /> "All the pigs are all lined up<br /> I give you all that you want<br /> Take the skin and peel it back<br /> Now doesnt that make you feel better?"<br /> -NIN <br /><br />Parents: Crazy, they are so fuckin' crazy.<br /><br /> "Head like a Hole<br /> Black as your soul<br /> I'd rather die than give you control...<br /><br /> Bow down before the one you serve, you're going to get what you deserve"<br /> -NIN<br /><br />School: Lame.<br /><br />Work: Non-existant.<br /><br />Myself: ? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:2695 2007-04-14T10:27:20Z 2007-04-14T10:27:20Z Well, now this is a rarity in deed; i'm actually posting something up on this stupid livejournal.<br /><br />Updates on my life:<br /><br />I've gained 5 pounds and i've gotten so heavy that sometimes i breath really hard and i feel like fainting...eww..i might as well become morbidly obese because i don't plan on living so long...<br /><br />Second, my love life is, well, non-existing and will probably continue to be like that for a while, at least, until some stupid naive girl runs into me and well...use you're imagination.<br /><br />Third: school is wrapping up and it looks like i'll be keeping my super inflated high GPA of 3.46...once i go to Japan for college or UH MAnoa...i'm sure to be getting 2.56's instead...<br /><br />Fourth: My birthday is coming up soon and i have no idea what to do ... i'll be 19 and i don't feel too happy about it. I'm one more day closer to dying, one day closer to being old and alone, one more day of :( . On the bright side, one day after my birthday is the Kon and i'll be stoked to go as Light Yagami...that is, if i stop being lazy and start buying the other half of my costume...<br /><br />Fifth: I hate church.<br /><br />Sixth: I hate people...they tend to piss me off and i wish they'd all go away...<br /><br />7th: I bought a DVD from toysnjoys...Deathnote The last name...it is awesome. MisaMisa is one hotsexyasianpiece...<br /><br />oh yea....it's that good.<br /><br />8th: Procrastination is a bitch and i hate KCC for being so slow to tell me whether or not i made it into the Freeman scholarship program so i know whether or not i'm going to Japan or UH Manoa.<br /><br />Last comment of the day:<br /><br />"If i were to say i am depressed, i'd be only half right. I'm more than just depressed, i have this sinking feeling, this kind of feeling where i'm not sure if everything is going to be okay. I feel like i just survived a car crash and the doctors are slowly unraveling the banadages around my body and with every unwrap i see a part of myself that i find hideous. I can't stop looking and i can't make the doctors stop, they just keep unraveling and unraveling and i'm afraid that when they stop, i'll find myself a mess and i won't even recognize myself. I've sunken so far into self-loathing apathy of despair that i don't think i'll survive this time.<br /><br />Maybe i died on that operating table or sometime after the surgery. hell as i know it that if i did survive, therapy is going to be a painful bitch... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:2455 2006-06-01T00:12:13Z 2006-06-01T00:12:13Z I finally fuckin' did it.<br /><br />I fuckin' graduated from High School....<br /><br />!Yay!<br /><br />oh fuckin' great is that?...<br /><br />FUCKIN' good.<br /><br />Okay...time to play more guitar.<br /><br />i don't wanna be fat. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:2220 2006-04-26T22:05:06Z 2006-04-26T22:05:06Z Happy Birthday Gina.<br /><br />You're 18 now.<br /><br />:D<br /><br />life sucks... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:1836 2006-04-26T06:56:26Z 2006-04-26T06:56:26Z !Yay!<br /><br />P.E. is over. now i can get fat in peace.<br /><br />:D urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:1747 2006-04-25T08:26:35Z 2006-04-25T08:26:35Z whoa.<br /><br />i had fun.<br /><br />today. <br /><br />was.<br /><br />a.<br /><br />good day...a very good day. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:1318 2006-04-24T06:16:06Z 2006-04-24T06:16:06Z life is crazy right now.<br /><br />but...<br /><br />i think i like it.<br /><br />for now.<br /><br />:D well...tomorrow our whole senior class is having a picnic.<br /><br />whoopdefuckin' doo. i hate my class.<br /><br />i hate the beach.<br /><br />:D urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:1212 2006-04-20T03:27:55Z 2006-04-20T04:23:04Z well...<br /><br />yay. i don't think i can go out this weekend.<br /><br />:D<br /><br />oh well.<br /><br />it seems, according to my principal, that i will not graduate this year.<br /><br />:D<br /><br />FUCK YOU KAMEHAMEHA HIGH SCHOOL KAPALAMA CAMPUS...they should have told me that a long time ago. i would have stopped wasting my time and just go to Pearl City.<br /><br />:D<br /><br />what a fuckin' awesome day.<br /><br />Lyrics for "Calluses prod by Malakai" <br />Calluses:<br />lyrics by Ceschi Ramos<br />music by Malakai<br />written March 2005<br />--------------------------<br /><br />it's been long enough now<br />that i can laugh about it<br />without tear jerks<br />or suicidal notes<br />and although life's changed<br />my feet won't stop moving<br />and calluses just continue to cover my whole being...<br />i thought i loved you then<br />i know i love you now<br />and i wont forget a single second of the time we spent<br />little boo I'll never be able to just replace you<br />by taking your photos from out of my wallet<br />and wallowing in my own sorrow for hours<br />what a fucking joke...<br />another half truth...<br />jumping out of the mouth of an idiot that still cares for you<br />as much as the first day that he met you<br />and as much as he regrets to tell you<br />he'd stop rapping in the third person if he could only smell you<br />well you<br />could have been better at telling the truth about how you felt<br />but<br />i should have focused my energy on being someone else<br />who would have listened to every word that you could possibly utter<br />and follow up promises even when obstacles seemed to be stuck inbetween summer covers<br />i miss<br />the<br />moments when thinking was optional<br />total bliss,<br />love<br />at its pinnacle<br />seeping throughout our bodies<br />and then some<br />when we became one<br />there wasn't a single force in the world that could shake us<br /><br />and now im dead sure<br />that I was dead on<br />that we should be together til death<br />and then some<br />that you were drop dead beautiful<br />im never dead wrong<br />or else<br />id be dead and gone<br />and there'd be no dreaded song<br />i'd just be headed along<br />with you between my temples<br />finger painting fictional flowers throughout my mental<br />overpowered but gentle<br />sweeter than sour tempered<br />just fiending for an hour when we could be back together<br />but evil convenience was easier than love<br />in fact....most everything is easier than love<br />it's wack<br />but I guess that every human being deserves it<br />for being born with mortal sin<br />all torn up in<br />stomachs and aching bones<br />i know that you could never just stomach these aching moans<br />disguised as faking poems<br />but It's the only way I'll come to grips with what went wrong<br />it's the only way i'll clear my throat of these bent frogs<br />and it's embarassing sometimes - i know<br />but i hope that listeners realize that this pain stems from growth<br /><br />well here's that third verse that I usually cut from songs<br />and maybe it's a symbol of me finally moving on<br />or maybe it just means that i never want to let go<br />or possibly it's signifying loss of self control<br />and a last desperate attempt to reach what's missing from my soul<br />with a few pitiful words that won't even graze her earlobes<br />but i'll give it a shot though<br />and rock slow enough so she can know whats up<br />just not fold her arms and say<br />"he's nuts, he's crazy, he's making it tough"<br />i hope she knows I give a fuck<br />more than HIV penises and pussies on hollywood sluts<br />im sorry for not giving up<br />im sorry for caring too much<br />im sorry for giving apologies so many times that Im stuck in a rut<br />I wish that this could be the last time that i said love<br />and sometimes wishes come true<br />so now this song is done<br /><br /><img src="http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h69/ToastMan23/awesome048.jpg" height="400length=195"><br /><img src="http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h69/ToastMan23/awesome060.jpg" height="400length=195"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:805 2006-04-19T04:39:37Z 2006-04-19T04:39:37Z I hate Livejournal.<br /><br />it is such a waste of my time.<br /><br />yet, here i am, continuing to write in this damn little box on my screen, as if i needed therapy.<br /><br />I get enough therapy once a month at the Office of Dr.Hsu.<br /><br />What a waste of my time. My parents think that some sort of miracle will descend from her office and suddenly make me better.<br /><br />I'm still waiting for the miracle.<br /><br />I don't think it'll ever come...at least...not the type of miracle my parents want.<br /><br />I woke up late today, actually, i woke up tired today. I took my time driving to the mall, sorry walter; i didn't mean to keep you waiting...<br /><br />i had the hardest time driving home today, my eyes wouldn't stay open. I just wanted to sleep. <br /><br />The more i sleep, the more sick i feel. this house sufforcates me, and i'm not being emo, really, this house is sufforcating me.<br /><br />The walls are white, the blinds are dinge brown with thick layers of dust from the neglect of my hands, the windows are dirty and covered with a good thick layer of grime from the rain.<br /><br />I think i need to move out...but i lack the job, time, and will power to do something.<br /><br />Sometiems i think i'm too laid back for my own good, sometimes i think i'll never get out of here.<br /><br />*sigh* i'm not emo. <br /><br />I hate livejournal. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:621 2006-04-17T17:57:57Z 2006-04-17T17:57:57Z i hate livejournal.<br /><br />:D<br /><br />the anime convention rocked sooo hard. soooo hard.<br /><br />i love it.<br /><br />i can't stop talkin' about it. If anybody knows the name of the girl in the black chobits costume. tell me.<br /><br />:D urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:leonlovesyou:331 2006-04-17T17:56:20Z 2006-04-17T17:56:20Z !Yay! no school for me.<br /><br />:D !yay! <br /><br />anime convention rocked sooo hard. I can't stop talkin' about it. and i just realized something........<br /><br />oh never mind.<br /><br />i hate this livejournal. it's not the same.